On TV: Con Air

I'm watching while I work (at home). Here's what's on TV: Con Air. This flick earned both an Academy Award nomination AND a Golden Raspberry Award! (Go figure.)  This best-of-the-good and worst-of-the-bad dichotomy similarly describes the assortment of guys (and gals) associated with The Jailbird - the prison plane after which the movie is named.

The film's not yet over, but I have already adopted a favorite line: "Put the bunny back in the box!" Heh.

here

John Grisham






What I'm (re-)reading now:  The Innocent Man: Murder and Injustice in a Small Town by NYT Bestselling author, John Grisham [July 12, 2009 Paperback].  Read a synopsis, reviews, and interview with the author here.

What I'm reading now: Gus Hasford's THE PHANTOM BLOOPER (1990)

http://www.loc.gov/vets/
Happy New Year!

Befitting a Veterans History Project Official Founding Partner/New York, I re-screened Band of Brothers and Saving Private Ryan this holiday weekend and then one thing led to another.  I read about Gustav Hasford's war novel (The Short-Timers). It's the basis for another fave film - Full Metal Jacket - to which both the aforementioned films give nods. And then I snagged both books, The Short-Timers and Gus Hasford's sequel, which I'm reading now: The Phantom Blooper (1990). 

Both books are highly engrossing, savagely powerful, gripping far past the last page, and highly recommended.  Here's a vivid excerpt from The Phantom Blooper chapter 1, "The Winter Soldiers", which made this pogue pause. I'm using the luxury of being able to call a cease-fire-at-will to blog this post.

Black John Wayne hangs tough, firing his M-60 until the barrel glows red and white. But an NVA flame thrower roars across the trenchline and then Black John Wayne is a black man wearing fire as formal attire and his bulky body jerks like a puppet and he dances as M-16 rounds in his bandoliers cook off, and then the M-60 in his hands blows up, and Black John Wayne is still standing, while advancing NVA troops move around him and out of his way. He holds on to his throat with both hands, like a man trying to strangle himself, or like a man trying to pull off his own head. And he falls.


Whew! The horror. But the violence, blood and guts are not what grab me. 
 
This excerpt can't convey the anxiety-provoking, ominous quiet or the dreadful darkness Private James T. "Joker" Davis inimitably describes at the book's opening.  Nor Hasford's brief but brilliant character sketches and background context. Nor the disturbingly violent and claustrophobic circumstances preceding this paragraph, that only someone who's been there (like this author, or one of Wallace Terry's Bloods, or a Veterans History Project subject), could describe. Nor the reasons why Black John Wayne's loss is, at once, so heroic and so heartbreaking.
 
What is does provide civilian readers, REMFs, and hobbits is a representative sample of Gus' on-the-front lines clench-your-sphincter grit-your-teeth kiss-God's-green-earth-and-naivite-about-war-goodbye ride. I repeat, Pilgrim, The Phantom Blooper is not a read; it's a wild, heart in throat, can't get off 'cuz Gus' taken you POW, ride.  And as you can read for yourself, this book is not for faint of heart or those with IBS.  Rider/reader discretion is advised.
 
In contrast, those concerned with the firsthand Vietnam War experience and its aftermath, for grunts, this semi-autobiographical novel is one must-read.  Two others, of course, are Hasford's Short-Timers and Wallace Terry's 100% true-life, first-person accounts of African American soldiers of a diversity of ranks and backgrounds titled, Bloods: Black Veterans of the Vietnam War: An Oral History.

ON TV: Top Chef All-Stars - Jen's parting is such sweet sorrow

Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet Act 2, scene 2, 176–185

That I shall say good night till it be morrow.

 

I set out to blog how, ON TV: On Top Chefs All-Stars, episode 2, Jen's parting is such sweet sorrow.
What I found, though, was: Patti Labelle has two titles that aptly describe the first chefs sent packing, Shakespeare eerily predicted Jen's crack of doom, and Jason Sheehan is my new favorite Top Chef blogger.
 
Top Chef Season 8's first All-Star casualty last week was Elia Aboumrad (who placed 4th in Top Chef, Season 2 ). I dedicate to her Patti Labelle's album: Patti Live! One Night Only...  To Jen, I dedicate Patti LaBelle's hit song "New Attitude".

Either the All-Star cheftestants OD'd on La LaBelle's lyrics, or the producers whipped them into a stiff, saucy frenzy for ratings' sake. To wit:  Last week, Elia landed on the chopping block for stubbornly refusing to update her losing dish beyond a mere tweak.  And Fabio Viviani (Season 5's Fan Favorite, who placed 4th), threw down the gauntlet with bitingly-brutal judge Anthony Bourdain. 

This season, Jen's anger, feistiness, and cockiness sharply contrasted with her mild-mannered demeanor during Top Chef Season 6 (she placed fourth, too - I see a pattern here).  Jen staunchly stood by her soaked pork-belly dish (which some said tasted like wet bacon) and so dissed the judges that her castmates (and some judges) rocked on their heels. I think one of her teammates gasped. (Although in the stew room, two-stitch Jamie Lauren (who placed 7th in Season 5) said about Jen's tirade: "She was good!")
Antonia Lofaso (who placed 4th in Season 4) asked Jen if she'd behaved that way in Season 6. Jen's reply: "Absolutely not. This is All-Star Jen."

Jen, Jen, why'd you drink that Kool-Aid?

This go-round, Jen's hubris in general, and cockiness about the Museum of Natural History challenge in particular challenged the gods of reality TV to take her down. Couple that begging-for-it setup with her alternately simmering and red-hot-chili-pepper temper this season, Jen's impudence at judge's table, and her shared confidence in the confessional (her father sez coming in second is still losing), and you KNOW she's cruisin' for losin' - if only to make good TV.

And good TV we got.  All that tough talk and the tirade at judge's table certainly was "dramatical" (to quote celebreality star Flavor Flav) and "drama-full" (to quote a young woman overhead gossipping on Manhattan's 6-train yesterday). But I'd bet my best cookware Jen never would have talked so tough if she'd felt vulnerable. 

But she was.  They all are. For all but one chef-testant, life upon this show is but a walking shadow, short-lived and soon-doused. 

Instead of listening to Patti LaBelle - or the producers - or her father - and breaking bad, Jen should have read Shakespeare's MacBeth.  For on Top Chef, to-morrows are not promised, and for all but one talented, lucky contestant, hubris, incompetence, and carelessness will light fools the way out, out! To be then heard no more.  (Until the Top Chef  holiday special or some other media opportunity.)

This course, Jen's candle was snuffed. Her strutting and fretting upon the stage, full of sound and fury, signified nothing. And so Tom Colicchio told her: he admired her standing up for her dishes, but that did nothing to improve her food. 

Given all Jen's bad-ass bravado and bluster, her elimination was painfully ironic. Padma's "Jen, please pack your knives and go" was tight-throated (as if it were hard for her to break the bad news). Tiffany and Jamie's reactions:  total shock (although Jamie's also reflected surprise she it was Jen - not she - who was sent packing). Antonia's reaction spoke for us all:  "Holy sh*t!" 
Even I, who found Jen's bravado and overconfidence unwise and her behavior at judge's table inappropriate, found her ousting hard to swallow.  (I pity the fool!) But what came next for this poor player was even harder to watch.

Not even a Machiavellian producer like Real Housewives' sleaz-evil genius, Andy Cohen, could have predicted Jen's priceless, cringe-worthy, emotional roller-coaster of a meltdown.  Jason Sheehan describes it well in his post: "Top Chef All-Stars, second course: Is Jen a dinosaur?" 

By the way, I think Jason Sheehan should be a Top Chef judge.  To underscore my point, check out this post: "Note to Top Chef: Stop sucking."

ONSCREEN: What's with Alicia Witt making love in lifts with men she shouldn't be with?

What's with Alicia Witt making love in lifts with men she shouldn't be with?  Well, not Alicia exactly, but some of the lusty, unfaithful characters she plays onscreen.

• Exhibit A:

Consider her steamy elevator scene in Season 2, Episode 7 of The Sopranos ("D-Girl", 2000). Witt, as film development executive Amy Safir, begins an illicit liaison with her fiancé's mafiso cousin, Christopher Molitsanti (Michael Imperioli), in a hotel elevator and consummates it all over her room.

Chris, we already know, has no respect for the terms of engagement (his fiancée is Adriana La Cerva, played by Drea de Matteo). That's not surprising, since The Sopranos and the gangster fare that inspired it, whether fictional (e.g., Casino, The Godfather Trilogy, Goodfellas, The Public Enemy, Scarface), semi-fictional (e.g., The Untouchables), or true-life (e.g., the Decavalcante Crime Family), perpetuate the belief that most gangsters (and their wives) take having a comàre or three for granted. We also know Christopher has become disenchanted with the breakdown of Cosa Nostra values, and so he feels justified violating the taboo against airing Family secrets and bloody laundry (even in fiction).

But Cousin Greg (Dominic Fumusa), whom Amy and Chris cuckold, had introduced the pair in a win-win effort to help Chris make mob-oriented movies and Amy find marketable film projects. For Chris to sleep with that cousin's (ANY relative's) intended wife?  Madonn'! Chrissie clearly doesn't much respect family ties, either.  (Except, of course, when they involve Chris' cousin/uncle/mob boss Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) and Adrianna.  We see how Chris feels when he thinks the shoe's on the other foot in "Irregular Around the Margins" - Season 5, Episode 57 and in his movie Cleaver, aired in "Stage 5" - Season 6, Episode 79.)

Exhibit B:

I wonder if Witt's steamy elevator scene in The Sopranos inspired either her casting or the elevator scene in the movie, Last Holiday (2006)?  In this big-screen flick, Witt plays sultry secretary, Ms. Burns, who gets lovey-dovey in the lift with her married boss, Matthew Kragen (Timothy Hutton).  Later, a tete-a-tete with Georgia Byrd (Queen Latifah) in a hotel spa reveals Kragen has been stringing Burns along with promises he will leave his wife.  Burns feels stressed, trapped, and unable to leave because she has no education.  Byrd advises her (in so many words):  stop being a sucker (pun intended), go back to school, and take charge of your professional and personal destiny!

The Upshot:

Both stories end well for the women and badly for the men. 

In The Sopranos, sleazy Safir severs ties with Moltisanti and his film project (after, of course, her boss has stolen Chris' concept).  In a less-than-subtle symbolic scene, Chris confronts and insults Safir, calling her a "D-girl".  The Yale University graduate and doctor's daughter, Safir, leaves Chris standing at the bottom of a staircase (an "auto" lift of sorts) and corrects him (read:  puts him back in his place), while steadily ascending - "I'm a Vice-President, you moron!"  The experience temporarily wounds Christopher emotionally (he really liked Amy) and opens his eyes to the shark-like nature of the film industry (which is not unlike that of the mafia, but without the offscreen violence). But Chris' world doesn't collapse. Not immediately.  That happens after he makes another film (a revenge fantasy, which could have been subtitled, "Pork Store Killer's Revenge") with a little help from "friends of his" both buttoned ("made") and buttonholed (made to help). The film's message contributes to Chris' demise, and sometime later, Moltisanti suffers a tragic fate at the hands of Tony, who modeled the film's protagonist (in "Kennedy and Heidi" -  The Sopranos: Season 6, Part 2, Episode 83). 

In Last Holiday, Burns' status elevates while Kragen's plummets.  Burns takes Byrd's advice; she returns to school, graduates, and gets a better job at the Grand Hotel Pupp. In contrast, her adulterous, manipulative, self-interested former boss, Kragen, loses his money to his ex-wife and the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Help 360 MERIDIAN win a small business grant!

Veterans Day 2010 tickles me green, black, and red, white and blue

GREATER NEW YORK - As a relative of numerous military veterans and a Veterans History Project Official Partner/New York, I've observed Veterans Day all my life. But this year is special. Veterans Day 2010 tickles me green, black and red, white and blue.

To explain what I mean, I've color-coded this post.

GREEN:

First Lady Michelle Obama helped kickstart the day with a long-awaited appearance on Sesame Street (taped in May). Attractively clad in garden-green, she got her well-manicured hands dirty, doing a great job teaching the muppets to plant healthy, tasty garden vegetables (carrots, cucumbers, lettuce and tomatoes). Afterward, she displayed a tempting tray of fresh salad fixings and explained: they not only taste great, but can also help one grow strong and tall like her. (The segment - which featured Big Bird's fancy for seeds - inspired my breakfast selection: a crispy mixed salad tossed with trail mix. Booyah!)

BLACK:

What does any of this have to do with Veterans Day? For one thing, I had time to savor Sesame Street 'cuz many establishments are closed for this federal holiday. More importantly, Mrs. Obama's husband, Barack Obama, is the nation's 44th president and "Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the militia of the several states, when called into the actual service of the United States." Although (like 13 predecessors) President Obama lacks military experience and is not, technically, a military veteran, he is America's Supreme Commander, or as Alexander Hamilton phrased it: "first general and admiral." President Obama is the first African American to hold those positions.

FYI, Colin Powell has held the highest national posts held by an African American military veteran.  These include Four-Star General (since 1989), National Security Advisor (1987-1989); Commander-in-Chief, United States Army Forces Command (1989); Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (1989-1993), and Secretary of State (2001-2005). Think the significance of race has declined sufficiently to avoid citing it? Think again.  As Colin Powell stated: "Many interviewers, when they come to talk to me, think they're being progressive by not mentioning in their stories any longer that I'm black. I tell them, 'Don't stop now. If I shot somebody you'd mention it. "

RED, WHITE AND BLUE:

Red, white and blue, of course have been the colors of the national flag of the United States of America since June 14, 1977, when Congress...
Since then, the "Star-Spangled Banner" (aka the "Stars and Stripes" and "Old Glory") underwent numerous changes until July 4, 1960.  As "History of the American Flag" describes:

Resolved: that the flag of the United States be made of thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new Constellation.

Today the flag consists of thirteen horizontal stripes, seven red alternating with 6 white. The stripes represent the original 13 colonies, the stars represent the 50 states of the Union. The colors of the flag are symbolic as well: Red symbolizes Hardiness and Valor, White symbolizes Purity and Innocence and Blue represents Vigilance, Perseverance and Justice.

CLICK THESE LINKS TO LEARN...

• What IS Veterans Day?
• What 's President Obama doing this Veterans Day? (Read this, too.)
• What's President Obama doing for Veterans?
• And what am I doing for the REST of Veterans Day 2010? (Read today's tweet.)

The Lion Slept Last Night: Remembering Senator Ted Kennedy

GREATER NEW YORK - Saddened and profoundly touched by the news that the Liberal Lion (of the Senate) slept last night, I feel compelled to jot a few words remembering prolific, highly accomplished Senator Edward Moore Kennedy (D-Massachusetts). Personal politics, opinions about Citizen Ted's private life - and even nationality - notwithstanding, it's well-nigh impossible for any adult on the planet to be unaffected.

Personal recollections tend to be egocentric; mine are no exceptions. For instance, as a Veterans History Project Official Partner/New York, I am extremely interested in the experiences and contributions of America's military servicemen and women. That includes the Kennedy brothers.

As did older brothers Joe, Jr. (who made the ultimate sacrifice), Jack, and Bobby (all of whom served in the Navy), Ted served in the United States military (Army, 1951-1953). Later, during his 43 years in the United States Senate, the handsomest Kennedy brother (and perhaps the most controversial) actively addressed military issues, such as cheating on promotional exams, armor issues, and military blogs.

A more poignant memory of the tireless, influential public servant and one of America's most famous Irishmen was made the day I graduated from Harvard. After receiving my diploma, I'd stood on the crowded steps at Dunster House, scanning the crowd. "Where's that Ted?" I complained to my roommate, whose beau had promised to snap our photos.

Unbeknownst to me, Ted Kennedy was standing immediately behind me. He stepped up close, and when I turned around, he smiled mischievously, stuck out his hand, and said something like, "Hi, I'm Ted Kennedy. How do you work that camera?"

Hence, one of the first utterances by this newly minted Ivy Leaguer: "Humina, humina, humina!"###

This is Goode work if you can get it

GREATER NEW YORK - Now this is Goode work if you can get it. Murphy-Goode Winery in Sonoma Valley posted the following ad in April:

We at the Murphy-Goode Winery got to thinking about the new age of communications and we figured it was a pretty good thing. So to get going, we’re looking for someone (maybe you) who really knows how to use Web 2.0 and Facebook and blogs and social media and YouTube and all sorts of good stuff like that — to tell the world about our wines and the place where we live: the Sonoma County Wine Country.

In exchange, we’re offering you a “Really Goode Job” — a six-month job paying $10,000 a month plus accommodations!

We want to hire a social media whiz (your title will be “Murphy-Goode Wine Country Lifestyle Correspondent”) who will report on the cool lifestyle of Sonoma County Wine Country and, of course, tell people what you’re learning about winemaking.

Did we mention that the compensation was $10,000 per month Plus accommodations in a beautiful home in picturesque Healdsburg, a popular vacation destination in our neck of the woods. Working hours are flexible. And all you have to do is experience wine and good living, and then tell people about it. (Do you play Poker, or Liar’s Dice? Don’t worry; we’ll teach you.)

You (we hope) will become part of the Murphy-Goode crew — for six great months.

Apparently, 775 applicants thought so, too. Make that 776.

Sour grapes: Not everyone drinks from the same vat. In contrast to Murphy-Goode, us above-mentioned 776 souls, and those who organize and sponsor bloggers to attend wine conferences, some say winery blogging is a waste of valuable resources.

San Francisco Citizen poked fun at the $60K "Murphy-Goode Sonoma Wine Country Job Pageant":

Send in your one-minute video (just like when you tried to get on Survivor) to see if you make the cut. The top 50 contestants (just like Miss America) will get winnowed down (just like American Idle) until you win win win!

Who will win this crown? Oops, hat. Who will win the right to become a spokesmodel, to live on Maggie’s Farm and sing the praises of the juice of the grape?

And when you start your gig (please let’s not call it a job) try not to use the word passionate when describing anything having to do with winemaking. It’s been done.

Another funky note: WinePredators' report told me something not so Goode about an attempt to cloud the clarity of Murphy-Goode's Lifestyle Correspondent selection process:

And then I’m cruising the internet and find this: a wine marketing think tank, VinTank, has already vetted the existing candidates, chosen their favorites, and even helped them promote their candidacy. At one point, they even offered Murphy-Goode $100,000 in services if M-G chose one of their favorites!!

Hello? Murphy-Goode Dream Job? My dream has been squelched before I even finished my video!

Seeds of inspiration: ArtPredator (the same blogger as WinePredator) reports that the inspiration for the Goode job offer stemmed from Queensland Tourism's Best Job in the World Contest. The winner, Brit Ben Southall, won a 6-month, $150,000 gig as Caretaker of the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef.

I raise my glass to all the Goode applicants and have a few words for you. Salutations for submitting. Bona fortuna throughout the process. Savor the experience. If you win, don't forget to spit! And lastly, but most importantly: (1) Don't make these millennial mistakes and wine-blogging blunders, (2) Don't mistake the essence of your mission, and (3) don't rest on your grape leaves; prepare your long-term career strategy now.

I'll be looking forward to following (and rooting for) the M-G winner and Ben Southall in the blogosphere.###

What time zone are we in when it's not Eastern Daylight Time? (settling a bet)

IMAGE: Standard time zones of the world as of June 2008 (SOURCE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Timezones2008.png at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_zone).

It was about 7:00 PM, Eastern Daylight Time (19:00, local military time), and my sunlit office had begun to dim. I glanced out at the horizon, debating: tear myself away, now, from the proposal I was completing to flick the light switch and grab an Oreo cookie (or three), or polish off my paragraph first? Then the phone rang.

The call was from a couple who had a question: "What time zone are we in when it's not Eastern Daylight Time?"

Easy question. I gave the easiest answer: "It's Eastern Standard Time." However, the more complete answer is layered, like that snack I was salivating about.

[IMAGE: A Double Stuff Oreo Cookie (SOURCE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Happy_Cookie_Friday.PNG at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oreos)]

Her triumphant "Right answer!" and request to repeat it to her spouse signalled there was more to their matter. My guess: they needed help settling a bet.

She mentioned that he'd cited "something about military time." As he's a US Naval Academy alumnus and sailor, he was probably referring to Zulu Time or Coordinated Universal Time (UTC). Harold F. Maybeck does a fine job of explaining the origin and use of Z- or UTC-time here.

They wanted a hit-and-run answer, so for that time being, I opted out of addressing military time and email time. Instead, I shared that I'd previously blogged about time zones and promised to email the posts. I'll be sure to include this one to help even the odds.

(Afterward, I'll strike a light and scarf some sandwich-cookies.) ###