Saturday, September 15, 2007

Vampires, running buddies, and talk show participants: how are they alike? (updated)

Consider three groups: vampires (of both the supernatural and of the emotional ilks), running buddies, and talk show participants (hosts, co-hosts, correspondents, guests, crew and sponsors).

QUESTION: How are they alike?
I'll betcha Barbara Walters could crack this riddle as readily as she'd like to crack Star Jones-Reynolds'. Rosie O'Donnell's* and Donald Trump's knuckles. Or noggins. The latest crack-worthy development was the publication of Miss O'Donnell's book, Celebrity Detox (The Fame Game). [Read the publisher's and reader's reviews.]

ANSWER: They must be invited in. Once inside, they either reveal they'll be welcomed back (as with fictional "good" vampires and most real-life running buddies and talk show participants), or - rarer, worst case scenario - they unsheathe an unwelcome propensity to bite, suck everyone else dry, or otherwise cause all hell to break loose.

I've encountered both types, and therefore, empathize with Ms. Walters, albeit on a smaller, less public scale. And like Ms. Walters, neither public bloodletting (like that enjoyed by "The Donald" and Ms. O'Donnell in their various, well-publicized feuds with each other and with other people), nor dishing delectable-yet-damaging dirt (as shock jock Wendy Williams* does), is my cup of tea [although I realize mass media audiences savor that stuff just as Dracula digs warm blood].

* Would someone at WBLS or VH1 puh-leese encourage the self-professed "Queen of Radio" to refrain from referring to Rosie O'Donnell as "Rosie O'Donald"?!
For me, a higher - and more lucrative - road for venting about toxic invitees might be to release a tell-all novel and associated film that exposes, in thinly disguised fashion, those few emotional vampires, talk radio show participants and running buddies whom I regret having invited in. (I'm not saying I'll do that, but then never say never, either.)

LINKS: The ads below results from the book search: "tell all, celebrity."